He Isn't Served Who Stands and Waits

The city of Preston in Lancashire, England, has decided to take a page from the Happy Days 1970s TV sitcom, and tell pubgoers in the town to "Sit On It!" This fall, the city police plan to begin enforcing a no-standing policy in drinking establishment, according to a recent New York Times column.

The rationale, apparently, is that sit-down drinkers are less belligerent (and fall a shorter distance when they pass out), so planting yourself on a barstool while imbibing is a public safety issue. How authorities plan to deal with anxious drinkers who can't get a seat at the bar is not addressed. Perhaps pubs will have to enforce a time limit similar to what libraries do with their computers to keep kids from hogging the machines for hours on end.

We can already see the posted notice: "Please be courteous if you see blokes waiting to get drunk."

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