European Union regulators have decided that bottled water marketers can no longer claim that their product prevents dehydration. On the bright side, they're still allowed to claim that it quenches thirst, but stay tuned… Apparently, the directive originated with a finding by some literal-minded German scientists (is there any other kind?) that confused symptoms and risk factors and managed to produce a completely nonsensical conclusion from some completely unimpeachable facts. Scientists! ...

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